I use instant messaging a lot. It is a great way to quickly interact with someone on a moments notice. I use Adium on my MacBook Pro and I have no complaints other than with a large list of IM “buddies” it is easy to only concentrate on the ones you talk to regularly.

Yesterday, out of the blue, an IM window pops up from someone I have not spoken with in many months. I don’t know if it was an accident or intentional, but there it was, “Hey Tim, Hope all is going well.” I was delighted. As I said, I have not connected with this person in months. We are former coworkers and I respect him and consider him a friend. As I answered it, I was kicking myself for not staying in contact.

Yes, that “I should’ve reached out sooner” feeling is one I feel often.

Then, last night as I was going through some boxes I ran across a book my wife gave to me over ten years ago. I looked at it a few minutes and then as the flood of emotions passed I started to read it. Yep, sitting right there on the floor, I read the entire book.

The book is Dig Your Well Before You are Thirsty by Harvey Mackay and the point of the book is something I need drilled into my head almost continually. It is all about building and maintaining your social and business networks.

I am great at building. I am not so good at maintaining.

I just don’t stay in touch like I should with people I am not working with at the moment. Hey, friends, former coworkers and classmates shouldn’t feel singled out, there are family members I have not seen in years! I make excuses and rationalize the lack of effort due to a “busy schedule” and all. But, I have to face the reality, in this area I could put more effort into it; I need to put more effort into it.

I look back at some of the people I have met and interacted with over the years and on one hand it seems like we spoke just yesterday but on the other hand they are a lifetime away.

I enjoy meeting people; talking to them; learning about them and what makes them tick. Well, at least the interesting ones and you only find those by meeting as many as you can. Hence, building a network is easy for me.

The problem is I don’t circle back around and stay connected. I guess it is a flaw in my personality but I don’t like to “bother” people. I hate asking for help from anyone but am always delighted to give it.

Silly, isn’t it?

But, I think I need to approach this a different way. I need to reach out and not only connect, but reconnect, time and time again. I need to make the effort to just “touch base” and say, “Hi, how are you? Nope, don’t need or want anything other than you just stay in touch and let you know I care about you as a person.”

It’s not a matter of finding the time, it is just a matter of doing it.